A little preface: I found this essay a really hard one to write in terms of finding a solid conclusion. But I share this with whoever chooses to read it. I only ask you keep your heart open.
Metanoia- n. Change of heart.
The question is not whether God exists, but the question that lies in front of me at this moment is if God can be defined by human words. We tend to have this preconceived notion that we can just place a label on God and that’s that. In the time of the Hebrews, during scripture readings the reader, whether rabbi or Pharisee, would pause whenever they came across the word YHWH, which was how Yahweh was spelled due to the lack of vowels in the Hebrew scriptures. The reason for this was because knowing somebody’s name or using their name meant you had some power over them. Try calling anybody out by their name. Chances are they will respond without hesitation. The pause was done as a reminder to themselves that they had no power over their Lord God.
I do not believe you can bound God to a description of only a few words and be left with a perfect definition of God. However, I do believe God can be defined differently in the eyes of different people. What I also realize is that regardless of how we define God, to a certain extent our definition still would not be entirely sufficient to completely describe God. Yet it is through our imperfection that we can even begin to seek for God and at least begin to understand God. To see past our imperfection and seek a definition of God, we must begin to take notice of what is inside our hearts.
God is my Lord and Savior. God is my light and my salvation. God is my Refuge, my Rock and my Deliverer. Jesus I am so in love with You. Jesus I believe in You. These statements only begin to describe God in my eyes. I could easily go on and on to describe God in this manner, but I would only be redundant. In the midst of all these statements and words, what lies in there is not a definition of God. What lies there is my faith. What is revealed in those statements is that ultimately beyond all other things I put my hope in God. Even with that hope, the question that still remains is how would I define God. In my eyes God is not only a man, but someone so beyond my comprehension that I’m always lacking the words to define Him. The reason I stated God as someone and not something is because I believe that each person is truly made in His image. Yet, it would be unfitting to only define God as a man or person with that explanation.
What I believe though is God has this way of defining Himself to us in everyday life. Every experience we have in the world whether good or bad is God’s way of revealing himself to us. I believe God really calls us to seek him and it is through seeking him that we even begin to comprehend Him. Even with my belief another question can be posed against it. What if somebody doesn’t believe in God? I believe one way or another God still has his way within people that do not believe in Him, even if they never come to knowing Him.
Even with the words I used to describe God, I cannot stress enough that these words are not conclusive in themselves in defining God. If I am still seeking to understand God, then my definition of God is something that continues to grow. Yet I believe that it is through this incomplete definition that I continually seek for God. It is that desire to know Him more that I continue to seek God. It is the relationship I want with God that keeps me believing that God exists.
If there was something in this world that could satisfy me eternally, then maybe I wouldn’t believe in God. Yet I always thirst for something more, and if I can’t find it in this world, then it means that I was not made to be in this world forever. I do believe that God is the sole someone that has the ability to completely satisfy me, but His love is not limited to this world. God and his love for us cannot be bound by this world or the words of this world because God and his love for us truly is indescribable under only our terms.