Good book to read:What is God ? by John Haught
I must say I really do miss home dearly. But at the same time there’s something else on my mind telling me that this had to be. There’s this innate feeling within myself that told me and continues to tell me that had I not been taken out of my comfort zone and placed out on my own, I would not have grown as much both in my faith and maturity. Don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t mean that I consider my home, New Jersey, any less superior to other places in the world (Believe me. All the Jersey people here are very prideful and take major offense to any badmouth comments about Jersey, which we do get often.)
But what I’m trying to say is that living eighteen years of my life within the jam packed state of NJ makes me want more. For me to refuse that desire to experience the world would be more of a detriment to my well-being rather than simply a comfort.
In terms of my faith, it’s hard as anything to be able to profess my faith among people who don’t have the same beliefs as me, but I think it helps in the fact that I’ve been seeking more and more to understand my faith, and not be concerned solely about rituals and what not. However, in understanding my faith, there’s a paradox in that journey in the sense that to understand my faith, I must step into the abyss to find my ground (see Tillich’s argument brought up in Depth, a chapter of What is God).
I must say it has been a trial every day not to compromise my moral standpoint in the midst of my peers. Believe me, I hate when people smoke, do drugs, and drink themselves to oblivion. For what it’s worth, that’s their choice, not mine. I really don’t see any logic in it, but all I can really do about that is say my peace and let it be from there.
As for my hope, call me idealistic, but I do hope that this world changes in the next few years for the better. Yet at the same time I don’t put my hope in the world, but my Hope in God.